Black Friday--day of the dead.

I've never understood how Black Friday has always fallen on the day after we're supposed to be "thankful" for the things we have.  Most of us stuff ourselves silly with tons of food on Thanksgiving day and afterward go out and indulge in the purchase of material objects that very night.  Where's the gratefulness? Where's the humility? 

I don't want to poo poo those folks out there who are grateful for a day off and are grateful to sit down to a nice meal and actually talk to one another and think about things.  I don't want to blugeon those folks who are happy to be with family relaxing and visiting with one another and afterward, everyone goes home to rest.  I think the reality is, not many of us do that.  Not many of us talk with each other or think about anything too deep or promising because it's too painful or mentally laborious.  It's sad to think that during times when we need peace and reflection the most, we choose chaos and unrest.

To be at peace and be thankful is too much trouble when there are better things to do like go shopping at midnight on Thanksgiving evening.  How many of us are thinking about the fact that we can still afford to buy something even at a discount?  Are we thankful for the bargain or do we simply believe we deserve it?  How many of us have even wiped our mouthes dry and digested our lavish Thanksgiving dinners before we're ready to run out and indulge in the ability to spend money we supposedly don't have?  Most of us are buying into the idea that it's been a hard year. The economy sucks.  We've had to cut back.  If it were really all that bad, would any of us be able to walk out of those stores and across the parking lot with our carts over-flowing with ALL of those things we can't afford?

I think, even in difficult times, we're as greedy as ever to have what we want.  Maybe more so.  Why not really get on the bargain by staying home for once and choosing not to buy?

The Media...

is becoming the biggest joke of all time.  I don't know about you, but I feel like I can't get any information from the news.  More and more, these days, I am asking myself what is really going on out there?  What is this school of journalism anyway?  And what's the point of a weather man/woman?

I think this last hurricane "Irene" incident was ridiculous.  I was shocked by the number of reporters who were hardly giving us any real picture about what was going on.  I felt like I was wading through pages of debris that said very little about what was happening to the towns and the folks in line of this storm.  There was a lot of trying to prove their was a hurricane with drama along the pier, but no reality of what was actually taking place.  Prior to the storm, lots of folks along the coastline were sitting and looking out across the ocean as though they were at the movies.  Surprisingly, weather.com wasn't there to hand out 3D glasses.  This is what happens because of the media.  Everything becomes entertaining and as a result, we get entertained and less informed.

Weather.com had reporters up and down the east coast during this hurricane and every last one of them was basically reporting about 10 feet from the coastline.  What does that really tell us?  What do we really get from the fact that you're screaming into your microphone, waves are crashing behind you, and you are pinned against a wall from the force of the wind?   Dave and I actually watched a reporter fling himself against a wall while people in the background behind him, who were closer to the shoreline than he was, were walking along normally.  Reporting such as this tells us nothing more than you're dramatic.  It also makes it look like hype.  Those of us not going through it are likely to not take any of it seriously, while folks a mile or two away could be floating on their beds down their driveways and out into the streets.  We're not getting a very raw or honest picture about what this storm is actually producing and what is happening as a result, locally.  To me, it would have made more sense to have reported from someone's backyard.

Which brings me to this:  Most of what I gathered, concerning this storm, came from regular 'ol citizens who were video taping the situation at home and in their neighborhoods.  None of us want to know the obvious:  If you're standing along the shoreline during a hurricane, you're likely to catch a "breeze" from the water.

Lastly, most of what I was hearing concerned New York City.  Everyone was concerned about New York City. Bleh...bleh...bleh.  Afterward, most New Yorkers poo poo'd the exaggeration of the storm and said they slept through it and carried on with their usual weekend activities.  After all, New York City survived 911 -- they can take anything mother nature dishes up.  In all honesty, if you live in New York, you already live in hell every day; what's a hurricane in the bigger picture? 

Hardly any focus was carried to other states like Vermont, for example, who no doubt got word out of conditions there due to local residents and "amateur" video takers.  That's another thing, who is really amateur here? That's what I want to know.  I get more news from the groggy, toothless guy with the cigarette protruding from his mouth on his iphone than I get from the dramatic fools at weather.com.

When Work Is Too Much...

just call in sick.

That's what I'm seeing in "younger" folks when it comes to work ethics.  I've only been working at this new job for about 4 months now.  However, in that time, I have seen most of my co-workers taking days off pretty regularly.  They've gone beyond both the alotted days for sickness and vacation.  Vacation days are not only "me" days but days for "me and my friends" road trip to Montana or beachside wedding or so and so just had a baby or any other excuse that is simply "good enough" to miss work.  In a lot of instances, not coming in to work is simply because "I didn't feel like it".

When missed work days happen, young people don't necessarily lose their jobs as a result.  It's as though this is the norm nowadays.  Employers are now conditioned to this behaviour in their employees and in some cases, the employers themselves exibit the same behavior.  However, for many of us when you miss a day, you miss your pay.  And that's tuff.  Other folks looking for work find themselves competing for jobs with these youngsters who need a job, but don't work as though they want the job or are even grateful they have it.   Nonetheless, these kids will most often first be considered for the job.

What I find is that for many of these younger employees, missing days isn't an issue.  Why?  Because most of them have their parents to pull them up out of their hole when they are running short of cash.  I've heard them say things like, "My dad had to buy my medicine or pay my rent because I just don't have enough money this month."  Some admit they have a spending problem that leads them up to this mess. 

I notice that many of the younger folks really like their things and are regularly sporting new gadgets, wearing new shoes, clothing, and accessories.  On top of that, many of them eat out every day and apparently can't be bothered with putting together a sandwich for lunch.  They never get enough to eat.  It appears to me that I'm looking at a very materialistic, incompetent lazy group of young people.  It is a group of folks who fail to see that hard work is a priority.  Spending habits in relation to that hard work are an even harder priority.  You don't get to reward yourself everyday with what you're earned from your paycheck.

Who's fault is this anyway?  Obviously, the parents who always dig their kids out of the hole they are in.  But mostly, I don't think the parents even see their children as being in a hole.  I think the newest generation of kids emerge from home where work was a priority with no personal or family balance.  Parents were never around much when their kids were growing up.  Their paycheck came in handy for giving the kids all they material things they wanted and needed but none of the quality time that was severely lacking.  And so parents of the now college graduates have gotten into this habit of "making up" for lost time, a long time ago.

It makes me sad.  I've heard some of these young folks say things like, "When I'm depressed, I go to my closet and look at all of my things."

Now, I realize that the economy has, as of late, played into some of the difficulty that many people are experiencing financially.  Some college graduates, and folks in general, over the last 2 years have been faced with having to work 2 jobs or working a job that barely covers all of their expenses.  In some cases, jobs just aren't available.  But on the flip side, I don't see young people living as though we are in hard times.  They still buy the stuff they want, they still eat all of their meals out, and many of them drive cars here in the city when it is not even necessary.  Most of what they earn they "play around" with and their folks, by default, take care of the rest.

The job that I currently work is hard physically, mentally, and emotionally.  I sometimes find I'm at my wits end from the demands of it.  Oftentimes, your health isn't the greatest when kids are sick more than half of the school year and you're sick right along with them because you pick up every virus they get too.  Sometimes with all of your hard work and trying not to miss workdays and scrimping your still come up short.  But, in the end, you find your own answers.

In a job such as mine when you're working with children, you may find that you're calling in sick more often than you'd like to be.  But you're not going passed your alotted sick days unless there is a death or you have to stay home or be hospitalized by doctor's orders.  It used to be that sick days were for more serious illnesses like flu or pneumonia.  Now you can stay home with a sore throat or headache.  It used to be that you never even considered taking entire days off to go to an appointment or attend an activity that has nothing to do with anything that you should be doing right now that's more important than paying your rent or your utilities. It would have been laughable or unheard of that someone left work early because she was thinking of adopting a puppy.  That person would have been fired.

The fact is, you work.  You work because you are responsible for you. One person's lack of responsibility affects others even when it seems like others are more than happy to pitch in and help out whenever you need it.  At some point reality needs to set in.  Others, besides you, have to be considered.  You do the best you can and your actions exemplify that and you are content with the results.  Buying yourself something every time payday rolls around is not the end result to hard work.  Then, when you're in trouble, some of us will be more sympathetic.

Guilt Free Childcare?

I've never noticed anyone feeling "guilty" about leaving their child in daycare.  I've talked with mothers who exibit no sense of remorse for spending their entire day at the yact club while their child sits in a cramped daycare room from 7 AM to 6 PM. 

Apparently, there are some parents out there who do feel guilty.  I have seen some parents play the part of feeling guilty.  I did actually witness a mother tear up once leaving her baby at daycare for the first time only to later ask me if I was available on the weekends so she and her husband could go out.  I've also given pep talks to parents who clearly see that their child is suffering from a sense of abandonment.  In this case, the needs of the child are overlooked so that I can reassure the parents, "don't worry, he's gonna be okay".

Anyway, according to research reported by some Norwegian Institute of Public Health, there is no reason to feel this guilt anymore for those parents who feel they may have abandoned their child to be raised by strangers all day.  Lets never mind these are the most important developmental years of a child's life.  Their personalities, sense of well-being, self-worth and belonging are formed during this time. 

So what are the defendable excuses for not feeling guilty?  First of all, there are only 2 of them.  The first reason is that a child who goes to daycare has far more advanced language development than one who stays at home with a parent.  Why?  Because they have lots more language stimulation by their peers and "teachers" in a given day.  I can attest that the toddlers I work with aren't saying much and when prompted to do so they are often times less likely to say anything.  I can also attest that many of the children have poor listening skills and are often very obstinate when guided or asked no to do something.

The second reason (which is a laugh in half) is that while daycare children tend to suffer more respiratory and ear infections, by the age of 5 these same children have fewer illnesses.  I work in daycare.  I am always sick and extremely fatigued.  I'm wiping runny noses all day; it never stops -- EVER.  What the study fails to recognize is that not only have these children been left to be raised by someone else in the most crucial mental and emotional developmental years of their lives, they have also been sick during most of that time.  I can't imagine there is anything worse that to be a small child who is sick all of the time and mom or dad is rarely around.

What a load of nonsense.